I didn’t start this weekly feature to bash on webcomics, although sometimes…
I was reading a page of Sister Claire (a fantastic, tongue-in-cheek webcomic about a nun-in-training who gets chosen to give birth to god’s next savior) when I was intrigued by a Project Wonderful ad on the page. And then I stumbled upon one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in webcomic form.
Olympic Dames is about a bunch of teenage girls who are suddenly impregnated in their dreams by some ancient Greek gods, judging by the fact that Pan orchestrates the whole event.
What follows is something that does have fairly decent art (for a relative amateur) had this person not decided to be so lazy that they never got further than pencils and breaking the fourth wall to tell the readers that they were too lazy draw a car or a group of people. Aside from that and some very wacky spinal anatomy, the art’s alright.
What really sucks is the story. Not only does the idea of a bunch of teens being chosen for immaculate conception bother me to no end, the writing is just confusing as hell. The transitions suck so hard that at first I couldn’t make heads or tails of the story and I only read through approximately 6 years of it because I knew I had write this post. I wish I could say the writing improved over time, but the improvements are minimal because their execution is still terrible. If you read it, you’ll know I’m right.
It’s pretty clear to me that the creators, or at least the writer, are either pregnancy fetishists (not necessarily the sexual kind of fetishists, but they certainly enjoy the idea) or they thought this up in high school when getting pregnant sounded like the craziest idea ever.
Either way, I’m disappointed. In Sister Claire, the pregnancy is gradual and isn’t even the main focus 0f the webcomic. Instead, the main character Claire takes part in a larger battle between good and evil, has zany adventures and is challenged. Any deus ex machina the creator throws in are handled with aplomb, like it’s the most natural thing in the world to the “deus” side of the equation. In Olympic Dames, the girls wake up so pregnant that half of the people who look at them assume they’re two seconds shy of their water breaking, their parents don’t notice a thing or are conveniently missing, their teachers are informed it’s for a scholarship and the pregnant students have received extraordinary super-powers. Pan, the person behind the pregnancies, forgets to do stuff like get the girls out of gym class and is often flustered when the girls confront him.)
What’s even more incredulous is that out of the four girls who are impregnated, only one is truly depressed by her sudden change of state. The other girls either brush it off, are only pissed for a second and one has even been yearning to get pregnant to the point where she falls asleep with pregnancy suits on because she loves the idea so much. On top of that, after an attack on depressed girl and her unborn children, the others show her that she has to accept her “responsibilities” until the end and she learns that her childhood friend has suddenly realized his love for her and her ginormous baby belly.
Pregnancy is supposed to be a beautiful thing and clearly some people can approach it with that same respect and wonder, but this webcomic just makes me feel totally squicky about it. On top of that Olympic Dames, has super-lazy art and a confusing plot. There’s nothing good about this webcomic unless you’re the type of person who gets off on Octomom. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was created solely for that purpose.
What’s the worst webcomic you’ve ever read? Why is it awful?